Update: Autistic girl makes ‘miracle’ recovery after alleged murder-suicide attempt by mom

See original post HERE.

What a relief for everybody involved--including the justice system in Michigan--that Issy didn't die. It's quite possible that jail is actually easier for Kelli Stapleton than dealing with her violent daughter. Kelli was twice hospitalized after being beaten by Issy. I can understand that Kelli may have felt that life was impossible for herself and her daughter. Also, we now know that the local school had refused to allow Issy to attend at all. Kelli might not be the only person facing legal consequences in this case.

Autistic girl makes ‘miracle’ recovery after alleged murder-suicide attempt by mom
Issy Stapleton, 14, is up and about after being unresponsive and removed from life support. Charged with attempted murder, mom Kelli Stapleton remains behind bars in northern Michigan.
By Deborah Hastings
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS September 9, 2013

Fourteen-year-old Issy Stapleton, a violently autistic child whose mother allegedly tried to kill her in a botched murder-suicide attempt, is now walking, talking and smiling.

According to a family Facebook post, the girl’s recovery “is nothing short of a miracle,” her father, Matt, wrote Monday.

She was removed from life support Friday in the intensive care unit of Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital in Grand Rapids, Mich., where doctors concluded she had suffered brain damage and was unable to breathe on her own.

After her ventilator was turned off, Issy began breathing. By Saturday, she was awake, asking questions and “showing signs of the incredible young woman she is,” her dad wrote.

Mom Kelli Stapleton, 45, has been charged with attempted murder. The mother and daughter were found unconscious last Tuesday inside the family van, in which authorities say two charcoal grills had been lit and the windows rolled up.

Both were rushed to the hospital for treatment of carbon monoxide poisoning.

Kelli Stapleton is currently jailed without bail in northern Michigan, according to state police Lt. Kip Belcher. Her family has declined comment.

"We ask that you continue to keep the focus on Isabelle's recovery and not necessarily on the events that have brought us to this unfortunate fight for her life," the family posted on its Facebook site "Team Issy."

"We ask that people don't judge, but instead direct their positive energies on the recovery of this beautiful young lady."

Just hours before the mother allegedly ignited both cooking grills found smoldering inside the family van, she had picked up Issy from a residential care facility where the girl had received nearly two months of intensive therapy for violent outbursts associated with her extreme autism.

Her family had long struggled with Issy’s lashing out. Her mother had been hospitalized twice following beatings by Issy, according to The Status Woe blog site maintained by Kelli Stapleton, whose musings about caring for an autistic child vacillated from despair to hopefulness to just plain fed up.

In June, she posted photos and video of a visit to her daughter at the care facility, showing mother, daughter and two therapists seated together.

RELATED: OREGON FAMILY USES MEDICAL MARIJUANA TO TREAT SON'S AUTISTIC RAGE

The soundless video soon becomes violent as Issy hits her mother and slaps and claws at the three adults.

“I retreated to the corner and refused to look so I wouldn’t reinforce Issy’s aggression,” her mother wrote. “I’m here to tell you that Carly and all of Issy’s workers are superheroes. Honest to God. They were both bleeding before it was over.”

Last week, on the day she picked up Issy to take her home for the first time in months, Kelli Stapleton sounded distraught as she recounted a recent argument with a school teacher who told her Issy could not return.

“So less than a week before school is to start, she is uninvited,” the mother wrote on her blog. “I am devastated. My husband is gutted. I have ruined everything.”

Around 6:30 p.m., officers found Kelli and Issy Stapleton in the family’s van, parked in a rural area near Lake Michigan.

Mother of autistic teen blames herself when daughter is thrown out of school; both rescued from van full of carbon monoxide

See update: Autistic girl makes miracle recovery


Kelli Stapleton and daughter Isabelle (Photo: AP)

I have often wondered why teachers aren't prompted by their supervisors to be understanding of parents with disabled kids. Often, the parent has a milder form of the same condition. I wouldn't be surprised to find social awkwardness in the parent of an autistic child, and I would cut that parent some slack. That doesn't seem to have happened here.

It appears that the teacher in the following story punished a woman and her child for the mother's disagreement with an education plan, and the result was despair on the part of the mother. (I'm guessing that the plan involved very little time in a positive environment.) I have seen unbelievable behavior on the part of teachers trying to get rid of a problem child. Many teachers seem to feel no obligation to the kid, only a desire to make their own job easier.

And the legal system isn't much help, either. This woman should be getting support for severe depression, rather than being charged with attempted murder. Too often we put people in jail when we could have prevented problems by providing adequate mental health care and educational opporunities.


In a photo provided by the Benzie County sheriff, Kelli Stapleton is shown in a booking photo.(Photo: AP)

Autistic teen's mom charged with attempted murder
Tammy Stables Battaglia and Ann Zaniewski
Detroit Free Press
September 6, 2013

DETROIT -- "I have to admit that I'm suffering from a severe case of battle fatigue," Kelli Stapleton wrote Tuesday in a lengthy post on her blog, where she chronicled life with her autistic daughter.

That evening, Stapleton and Isabelle, the 14-year-old daughter she calls Issy in blog posts, were found unconscious from carbon monoxide poisoning in a van. Authorities have accused Stapleton, 45, of trying to kill them both in a murder-suicide, charging the mother with attempted murder on Thursday.

As Isabelle remained hospitalized and unconscious Thursday, investigators were still trying to determine a motive and say it's not yet clear whether Stapleton's challenges with her daughter — written in heartbreaking detail in regular posts on her blog, the Status Woe — were a factor. But mental health experts agree that caring for a relative with special needs can be difficult, leading people to feel overwhelmed and stressed.

Stapleton is jailed without bond in northern Michigan. She was arraigned Thursday in a Benzie County court on one count of attempted murder after being released from the hospital.

Lt. Kip Belcher of the Michigan State Police Cadillac Post said Thursday that Isabelle's condition had improved slightly at DeVos Children's Hospital in Grand Rapids. But medical personnel are concerned about the possibility of brain damage, he said.

"Within the last 12 to 24 hours, there's been some responsive behavior noted," Belcher said. "She hasn't opened her eyes yet or talked or anything like that. But there's some physical movement to indicate responsiveness."

The Stapletons live in Elberta, west of Traverse City. Belcher said Stapleton's husband called authorities around 1:30 p.m. Tuesday after receiving a disturbing phone message from his wife and noticing the family van was missing.

Benzie County sheriff's deputies found the van about 6:30 p.m. in a wooded area not far from their home, Belcher said. Two portable charcoal grills were positioned between the front seats and the first row of bench seats, he said. The windows were rolled up.

Defense attorney Anthony Cicchelli has declined to comment on the case.

Belcher said it's premature to speculate on a motive but noted that coping with a family member with special needs may have "promoted an extreme degree of stress."

Birmingham-based psychiatrist Gerald Shiener said caregiver fatigue can be a difficult problem for those who are in charge of a disabled relative.

"It can be overwhelming," he said. "It can cause severe depressive symptoms and cause a depressive syndrome, with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness."

Caregivers also may struggle with feelings of being ostracized or isolated, said Judy Kotzen, medical social worker for Beaumont Health System.

It's important for caregivers to set aside time for themselves and seek help when needed, Shiener said.

"When a caregiver neglects themselves, that's when they get overwhelmed, that's when they feel guilty, that's then they feel a sense of resentment, that's when they get discouraged ... and that's when something bad happens," he said.

Stapleton's successes and challenges raising Isabelle are chronicled on the Status Woe, where she posted both a hopeful message Tuesday when her daughter came home from treatment and another later in the day expressing her devastation upon learning her daughter wouldn't be able to attend school as planned.

"So much love…" she wrote of picking Issy up from treatment and the joy of her being home.

Later that day, she wrote of a meeting earlier in the week with the special education teacher at the school Issy was to attend, where her father is principal.

Stapleton had a heated argument with the teacher about Issy's school plan, she wrote. A little later, district officials told the family Issy could no longer attend, and she should be homeschooled, according to the post.

"So less than a week before school is to start, she is uninvited," Stapleton wrote. "I am devastated. My husband is gutted. I have ruined everything. I should have stroked egos. … With this teacher, I pushed when I should have pulled, bobbed when I should have weaved, bit when I should have kissed."

She wrote that Issy would attend a different school, pleaded with people to be helpful to parents and asked for insight from other parents.

"There is so much more to say," it reads at the end. "I'm just too tired to write more. All my love, Kelli."



Mom Accused of Murder-Suicide Bid Wrote of Despair
September 6, 2013 (AP)
By COREY WILLIAMS
Associated Press

A Michigan woman accused of trying to kill herself and her severely autistic daughter blogged that day about how desperate she was feeling.

"I have to admit that I'm suffering from a severe case of battle fatigue," Kelli Stapleton wrote Tuesday on her blog, The Status Woe, where she chronicled the challenges of raising her 14-year-old daughter, Isabelle, who sometimes had violent outbursts.

Stapleton, 45, and Isabelle were found unconscious from carbon monoxide poisoning that day in a van in which charcoal was burned with the windows all closed. Isabelle remained in critical condition Friday at a Grand Rapids hospital, her father Matt Stapleton said in an email to news outlets.

Kelli Stapleton appeared in court Thursday, where she was ordered to remain in jail without bail on an attempted murder charge. Her attorney, Anthony Cicchelli, declined to comment.

The family is well-known in their small community of Elberta, which is near Lake Michigan and about 150 miles northwest of Grand Rapids. Matt Stapleton is the principal and football coach at nearby Frankfort High School, and local news outlets have reported about him and his wife's challenges in raising Issy, as Isabelle is called.

"It's really early in the investigation. ... It's safe to call it shocking and tragic, definitely," prosecutor Sara Swanson said Friday. "Everyone is focused on hoping the child does well and pulls out of this. That's where the focus is now."

It was Matt Stapleton who reported he was worried about his wife and daughter after getting a phone message from Kelli and finding their van was gone from their home, authorities said.

On her blog, Kelli Stapleton wrote that Issy had completed an intense program for severely autistic children near Kalamazoo, but her education plan had been abruptly changed by school officials.